jason

So I disappeared from the blogging world for over a year to travel the vast expanses of my living room. I have compiled my discoveries into a comprehensive list.
1. Vacuuming and sweeping are not the same thing
2. An activated oven element by any other name burns your skin just as easily
3. It's only 9 days until Quinzmas
4. Traveling to Singapore by plane takes pretty much exactly as long as traveling to Vancouver by 1984 GMC Vandura.
5. Kraft Dinner (tm) must always have sriracha sauce on it (pardon the spelling)
6. It's only 9 days until Quinzmas?
7. Wicker is the strongest and most resilient substance on the planet (unsubstantiated as of right now)
8. I am currently looking around the room trying to figure out number 8 (eight)
9. It's only 9 days until Quinzmas.
10. What was that number 9?
9 (reprise). QUINZMAS IS IN 9 DAYS!

Please stay tuned for a fascinating blog on how Quinzmas 2012 may or may not involve John Cusack...
or was it Joan.
I always get them confused...

Jason

I have a question. Why do surgeons wash their hands so thoroughly if they're just going to put gloves on anyway?
Now I'm sure that there are hundreds of surgeons reading this, so I expect an answer ASAP.

Good, now that I got that out of the way I can get to something that's really dear to my heart.
A friend of mine told me that there is a group of people in Pakistan using typewriters as a way of protesting the Internet. Now, if indeed this is true, there are two things that strike me about this story.
1. That's kinda cool
2. It kinda sucks for them.
Let me explain number 2. You see, these people are allegedly protesting the use of the Internet, but the only way that anyone is going to hear about their protest is through a little something I like to call the INTERNET!
Isn't it Ironic... Don't you think. NO, it's just sort of unfortunate.

Here's the other thing. I don't really know anything about this story, because for all I know my friend just made it up. It sort of reminds me of this parable I once heard.

A young man was speaking with a friend of his one day when they came to the subject of typewriters.
"I don't like them" said the young man
"That is preposterous" said his friend.
"I hear that there is a group of people in a far off land using Typewriters to protest the Internet" he continued.
"That's sort of neat" said the young man.
THE END

So the moral of the story is that you should probably like typewriters. It helps you get along with your friends... Right?

Goodbye for now.

-Camera zooms in as a man shoots straight up in bed. 

As some of you may have already noticed by reading any of my blogs, most of them Involve some sort of half-assed wikipedia research. So, as not to disappoint, I have some interesting information regarding the mythological creature the Satyr.
What I have learned from my extensive Internet research is that Satyr's are gross. Basically, if a Satyr had a personal add in some sort of ancient Greek newspaper it would have looked something like this.

Young, sexually inappropriate goat man seeks dirty relationship with any creature of the opposite sex. 

So I was speaking with a friend yesterday who said "hey superfriend, why ain't I not seen nor heard sight nor sound from you in the blogging world for many moons" (probably paraphrased).
My response (also probably paraphrased)
"All of the bones in my fingers and hands were broken in an horrific pasta straining accident"

So that foreword was definitely full of lies (if you can pick out 6 blatant lies send them along with your name and mailing address to Slylock Fox c/o S. Fox @ 10101 binary road).
We at Quinzco do actually have some new developments and happenings to report. Firstly we are going to be heading down to the most westerly edge of our fair country to hang out/ record/ play a show or two in early April. We will actually be in beautiful British Columbia on this writer/ bass player/ vocalists birthday so if anyone knows where the nearest Chuck E' Cheeze tm is, please let me know.

Other things happening this spring include two back to back shows @ Lydia's in Saskatoon with our friends "the Nods". I'll keep you posted, sorry for the Hiatus

Next time: Why I hate those walkers that the older generation employ as a transport aid.

Jason

The larger writing above this smaller writing is correct. There are still tickets available for Quinzmas (december 22nd @ the West End Cultural Centre). Also, we did an interview with Tracy Koga at Shaw. It should be playing in the next couple of days.
More importantly, remember how I was talking about how I met a guy with the same name as me... Like the whole thing... Wait, not the whole thing. His middle name was different than mine, but definitely the rest of it.
Anyway, I was thinking, how many people think that I'm him or vice versa. Maybe he was really mean to people in high school and there's a whole bunch of people who won't come to Quinzy shows because they think he's me. That sucks!
It wasn't me that shoved you into a locker and called you crater face Don Sadler.
Nor was it me that cheated on you Cynthia Rabblerouser (you should probably change your name though). I didn't do any of these bad things. Love me.
So to make sure that you know which Jason Pankratz is which. I shall give you this secret question with a secret answer, and a secret gesture.

The secret question is as follows: Who was your grade two teacher?
The Secret answer is as follows: Madame Pacheco
the secret gesture is as follows: A Deep knee bend coupled with a left handed flourish.

Thank you and goodnight.

What ho! A video has been made, a show approaches quickly. anxiety reaches a mid-month high.

Also, I learned a valuable lesson today.

COMPLAIN... LOTS!



Seriously, if you complain you get stuff. At least in the business world. Let me tell you a story in the third person (accuracy notwithstanding)



Branson Pancratez walked cautiously into the retail phone store, expecting nothing more than a "sorry sir" or an "unfortunately...".

"Can I help You?" asks the kindly clerk.

"I have a qualm with your establishment sir." He started (what was he thinking)

"My Mobile telephone is on the fritz and is of no practical use to me anymore. Please let me have a new telephone of my choosing." A rant ensued

"I am an irate customer with no time for low-level employees in your position, I demand attention and pity and must be compensated for my troubles...I"

"Certainly sir" Interjected Dean (the kindly clerk).
Enter Marching band with elephants, and giraffes fighting (check out youtube giraffe fights. it'll freak you right out).

So anyway Branson got his free Wildberry, and went on his way.
Exeunt Branson, Dean, And Giraffes stage left.

So that's my story. So as not to affect your opinion I will be leaving the moral open-ended.

High fives all around.
Jason.

Ps. I met a guy named my name today, and not just Jason, the Pankratz part too. I think I'm gonna right a blog about it or something.